This new year has brought a lot of realizations to the surface for me, the biggest one is the fact that I have been on survival mode for the last 4 1/2 years! Ever since Jed started going to school full time and I nannied, plus took care of my two boys, plus started my own education...all I was able to do was live day by day and survive. I never had time to look to the future and see what may come, I never had time to plan and prepare for the future. Things got randomly placed and food was randomly prepared (not always the healthiest of choices); my kids grew before my eyes without me catching every milestone. What's worse is that my spiritual part of life got neglected the worse, probably when I needed it the most.
Fortunately, I have ALWAYS been able to see what I can improve on and this year is definitely no different! What does makes it different than other years though is the fact that I am ready to get out of survival mode and into actually LIVING MY LIFE and ENJOYING it! I can notice my kids and learn what makes them tick, I can see my husband for EVERYTHING he is (good and bad), and most importantly, I can focus on myself and improve the skills and knowledge I desire to gain.
I look forward to the future; I am excited for what is to come (a little apprehensive...but excited). I am learning to step away from the computer when my family needs me and I am learning to be there for my family, especially if it means ignoring what NEEDS to be done (there's always something) and just enjoying the time together.
I now have a bazillion projects I want to do, some to improve our home
and life and others just because I want to create it! We are working on
our 72 hr. kits the next two weeks and then moving on to finalizing our 3
month supply (I am using this site for the 72 hr. kits).
I also want to make this by Valentine's Day (I have the frame, just need to repaint it and get the paint off the glass).
Hello, my name is Leona...and I'm a mess-a-holic. :(
There is something I have been realizing more and more these past couple of weeks...I tend to make a big mess in my house. Having 4 kids, I am constantly being pulled in every direction imaginable! After I finished a task, for example, changing Gentry's clothes, I would stand up, pick Gentry up, then sit on the chair to feed her...leaving the pajamas on the floor to be picked up by someone else (or myself...but later on in the day). In so doing this...I have trained myself to clutter the house up quite fast (and it does happen fast in our little home). I also HATE doing the dishes and tend to leave it alone until either the pile is too big to fit on the counter...we've ran out of dishes...or something starts to stink. My goal to change my horrible habits is to ALWAYS put what I have in my hands away where it belongs (not just set it down somewhere else) and to ALWAYS do a load of dishes every day (I'm still working on cleaning up after we have finished eating, I know it would make my next day a lot easier...but I am just too tired at the end of the day).
These bad habits...I blame on the kids and my husband ;) However, it is I who needs to change and change I will!
I have come to the awful realization that I waste too much time on Facebook and Pinterest...yes those are my two evils. I'm not much of a stalker on Facebook, however I pretty much check my newsfeed multiple times a day. Pathetic? Yes, yes it is. So, I am now going to waste my time updating my blog! I really want to start a journal and since I am already on the computer I may as well use it wisely.
These past few years have been a roller-coaster ride of an experience! The first two years were definitely the hardest ones from thoughts of being cheated on to being a single mom. I was warned ahead of time that I would be considered a widow and that raising the children and keeping up with the house will be all on me. I thought I was prepared for that, however I don't think anyone could fully prepare for graduate school with children :) The biggest thing I was not prepared for was the drastic downfall in the emotional relationship between Jed and I. For me, I NEED face time with those who I have any kind of relationship with, if I don't get it often enough I start to worry and wonder if something is wrong between me and the other person. In mine and Jed's case, he would leave early in the morning and not come home until 1:00AM the next day. I RARELY saw him. I started to worry and get thoughts about why he was staying so late (let me add a side note here and let you know that Jed would NEVER cheat on me, he loves me too much, and if he ever did his family would disown him and keep me). I always told him that if he needed to study then he needed to stay at the school, because once he was home then his attention needed to be on me and the kids (not school), which explains why he was always gone those first two year (and boy were they intense...he was basically going to medical school on top of dental school).
However, throughout those two years Jed did the best he could to spend as much time with the kids and myself as he could. When he was home, he was with the kids and gave them as much attention as they needed. He would also stay home in the evenings when he was able to so I can have a girls night here and there (I think he realized I was a much happier wife when he did that).
We had some enjoyable moments as well, gaining a German daughter (foreign exchange student), being a tourist in LA, enjoying the Aquarium of the Pacific, Disneyland, the beach, camping, fishing, crabbing, and so much more!
This past year Jed has been home a lot more and I am having to adjust my way of doing things. You change what you do in order to get things done when there is just one of you, now that there are two of us every now and then, I need to let Jed do more to help out. However, I have learned that I have fallen into a few bad habits and will be taking this year to change them.Most importantly, I am focusing on organizing my home and keeping it clean. I understand this process will take awhile (probably a whole year) and by the time we need to move I will hopefully be happy with how my home looks and feels! I plan on posting often how I have managed to squeeze 4 children and 2 adults into our tiny little 2 bedroom home. I have already started on the kids room and once we get our printer working again I can get it finished (printing labels). I have dejunked their toys and clothes and re-organized how everything is set up. So far 3 of the kids are there but we will soon be getting Adaire out of the crib and moving Gentry into it (so ALL 4 kids will be in 1 room and hopefully Jed and I will get more sleep than we usually do).
I plan on posting often, just telling about our days and how things are going with my crazy family. Hopefully I will keep this habit up, it is definitely one that I want to continue.
I have tried many different ways to get my kids to clean up, I have taken away ALL of their toys (which is what has currently happened...again). I have grounded them from T.V. and video games (they have just recently been able to watch t.v. again but are still grounded from video games for another month). I have tried bribing them with money, making them wash walls, making them do extra chores...but NOTHING seems to work.
I believe my problem has always been that I have not been very consistent in making them clean up regularly...like on a daily basis, or possibly not instantly following through with the consequence. So, I have created 6 daily chores that need to be done every day...
